The Seven Worst Kept Secrets of Camelot
by linckia-blue
Summary: Detailing those certain things which every child of Camelot grows up hearing stories about and would swear on their life to have never heard. Slash, M/A


_Diclaimer: __I have no claim over any recognizable plots/characters nor do I profit from them._

_Author's Notes: Eh, :D_

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**The Seven Worst Kept Secrets of Camelot**

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1. Mother Blanche, who is not technically the head of the castle kitchens, but might as well be, the way everyone jumps to do her bidding, gives a hot cross buns to the first half a dozen maids in to help on Monday mornings.

They say that Mother Blanche's buns are made from the pale batter of clouds, and that the honeyed raisins are not fruit at all, but the dried tears of fey children. Good men have done terrible things for Mother Blanche's hot cross buns, and as far as most of Camelot is meant to know, she makes them on the Resurrection day feast, and only then.

The girls who drag themselves from the sweet arms of sleep on Monday mornings and get down to the kitchens before the stars have yet to hide their bright faces get the buns special because on Mondays, King Arthur has double knight practice and Knights are a hungry bunch.

2. Courage is worth more than inherited Nobility.

The children of Camelot don't remember the days when to see a member of the King's Court's face was a rare treasure – a story told and repeated to friends and family and friends of friends and their families until the words were tired and wrinkled like a well loved book. The children of Camelot don't remember the days before dreams of becoming a knight or a princess could only ever be dreams. They don't remember a time before Sir Lancelot, the King's Champion, or lovely Guinevere, the King's Queen.

Even those old enough to remember before King Arthur reigned sometimes forget what it was like not to have Merlin, pale and smiling over Arthur's shoulder. It seems to them that he was always there, and that if he was not, there was a shadow in the fabric of the world where he ought to fit.

The common man on the street, a shoemaker perhaps, or flower seller, if asked, often cannot recall the day when Merlin was no longer a manservant and instead an advisor, or when he began to wear brocade robes which brushed the floor in place of a threadbare shift. They can tell you only of how the King so trusts him, or how helpful dear Merlin seemed to be that time their daughter was sick or they lost their hat. He is, most also agree, a bit clumsy though.

3. The Queen does not sleep in the King's bed.

Beautiful Guinevere became the wife of King Arthur before he had assumed the throne, and she took to it like a duck to water. The people love their queen, and her warm smiles, and warm hands and generosity. Everything that Merlin did not fix in Arthur, whisper those who think they know the King and his court, Queen Guinevere did.

However, the Queen's heart belongs to Sir Lancelot, and it is his quarters that she spends her nights in. The first servants who learned of it were shocked, and in their way also delighted. They schemed among each other. What could they get from the knight and the Queen, to keep their secret silent?

But they had not thought through the logic of the situation. Clearly, the king knew at least that the Queen had another lover, because if she was missing from his bed, she must be in someone else's.

Here is the secret that everyone knows. King Arthur loves his bride but not the way she deserves and it was with his permission that she went out and found the love the King should have been able to give her.

4. King Arthur's consequently empty bed is filled by the Advisor Merlin

This is no new news, and as unusual as the situation stands, the people of Camelot seem to have come to the conclusion that they would have it no other way.

Some wonder how they did not see the obvious love the King has for his Advisor back before the King Uther died. It's a nearly public romance and certainly the worst kept secret Camelot has ever known.

If the King is holding a feast, perhaps, and Merlin is not in the room, upon his entrance, the whole table suddenly seems to brighten with the King's pleasure. If the King declares he is about to set out on a quest to face alone a thousand foot tall man-eating giant, with red eyes and a mouth that spits flame, and no other person can sway him from his conviction, only a brief whisper from Merlin will change his mind. If the King makes an unfair ruling and none dare to tell him so, Merlin will dare, and somehow leave the King grinning when he rights the wrong.

The King, his Queen, Sir Lancelot and the Advisor Merlin all wear rings to promise fidelity and love. They are similar rings, but if one were to look very closely, they would see that matching rings are not worn by the couples a stranger to the secrets of Camelot might expect.

5. Magic is illegal in name only.

Since the reign of King Uther passed, the laws that once pressed up against Camelot like the caresses of on unwanted lover have grown distant. During the political meetings in which fat old men who call themselves peers of the realm, but are frankly only useless cowards with deep coiffeurs, try to beat back the eloquence of King Arthur's revolutionary pleas. _This is a new age. _the King tells them, swaying the youth and the unconfirmed. _Magic is a fine pen that will map our future in lines of glory and beauty or of damnation, and only with your support can we choose the right paths rather than force fate to take a stance. _

The last of the old crowd know that it doesn't matter if again they refuse to support the laws to make magic legal again. They may slyly threaten with personal armies, and land; figures on harvest tithes or lax loyalties, but they watch the glow of change alight in their son's faces, and know the battle was lost before the war had begun.

In the streets old women sell charms with real magic potions and call them toys or trinkets to winking official's faces. When the druids come to the city for the faire day children cheer as they conjure theatre out of smoke and the Queen kisses their regal cheeks. When Merlin floats for a day, by accident, trailing behind Arthur with his feet a clearly noticeable inch and a half off the ground, people glance away and pretend not to notice.

The hangmen are out of work, these days.

6. The Lady Morgana Le Fay will give a true answer to any question for the price of a good deed and a kiss.

The rumours say she catches the kisses in green glass bottles and saves them for a day she'll need love. The rumours are right. The Lady Morgana does not know when she will need them, but she is a Seer and a feeling has never before steered her wrongly.

When people come to her with their questions, she smiles sadly, and pleads that they not ask her to answer. "I will give you what you seeks." The lady tells them. "Only do not take it, and keep your life your own, instead of the future's."

No one has ever listened to her advice, and most have come to regret it.

They say that if any ever came to her with information about a young boy called Mordred, the Lady Morgana might give them the answers to _all_ questions, every one they could ever think to ask. Morgana would, and some day she will, and that choice will be regretted too.

7. There is a dragon underneath the castle.

_He won't stay there forever_, people whisper among themselves. _As soon as the ban on magic is released, he'll be gone, Just you wait._

The people don't fear that day, though. They are eager for it. Children often find their way down to the dragon, and he speaks to them the way a very old grandfather would. He tells them stories they never thought to ask for.

He tells them of their king in his youth, and how he was reckless and confused and just. The dragon tells them of the King's favourite advisor Merlin, and how he was clumsy and oblivious and good.

It is in this way that the secrets of Camelot become rumours and the truths of Camelot become secrets. The children frown at the tales of the kingdom before it's Golden King, but to them they are only stories. The dragon tells them that they don't know how lucky they are.


End file.
